Re: Chapter 5.0: A Match Into Water
When Nori felt Fuma rest a hand on her knee, her eyes flicked down to look at it as she listened until she felt she could intercept. “I know I need to get stronger in a lot of ways. I know there are still things I need to work on. I understand that. But I don’t want her to only recognize the mistakes I’ve made. I don’t want her to let them define who I am. I don’t want to make her question my abilities or my dedication in doing what’s right or doing what I have to do. I am...stronger than I seem,” she said. “And I would never let my selfishness or curiosity get in the way of putting the people I care about in danger. At that moment, my body just moved on its own. There was this force pulling me and I let it. I had to see for myself and I should have controlled myself better. Even if it was a feeling I had.” As she felt the hand leave her knee, Nori’s eyes moved down to her forearm. She saw an array of scars across her skin. Some looked deeper than others. Some were faded and could hardly be seen. But just looking st them looked painful. It was than she was told her sensei was the one that caused them.
Nori knew that If Sarada had wanted to, she could’ve caused her a lot of damage. She could have put her in her place on different occasions, but instead she used her words. But...sometimes words could hurt more than any cut could have done. That was besides the point, though. She knew what Fuma was saying. They were things that she knew very well. “I just want to tell you. I do respect sensei. I do recognize her abilities and that she is on a whole other level than I am in every way. I know I can learn a lot from her and I try to every day. Even if I don’t agree with everything she says or does. I know she has more experience than any of us put together and she probably does know what is best for us as a team. She can probably teach me a lot of things that I lack in. But...” Nori lifted her head up and looked at Fuma across from her. “...I am not going to just respect her because of what experience and abilities she has. I do look up to her in the sense that I do aspire to become strong like her, but to respect her as a person and a leader is something completely different. Maybe my trust and respect mean nothing to her, but to me, having that respect and trust within a team is important. It’s not just given because of how strong you are or how many years you have on you. We have to be able to trust in our leader. Just like we have to earn her respect and trust, doesn’t it also apply to us being able to trust and respect her?”
The burgundy haired shinobi stood up from her spot on the bed and quietly walked across the way. “With our last sensei, he wasn’t entirely easy on us, either. He scolded us and put us to work, too. But we built up something with him, you know? It took work, yesh, but we got there. We were able to put our trust in him. And if I had to, I would have given everything up for sensei because he was someone important to me. Even though he is no longer here, there are times when I hear him in the back of my head. He probably would have been disappointed in me for all the mistakes I’ve made, but he would have forgiven me, too, because he knew everyone made them. He would make sure I would learn from it and move on,” Nori folded her arms across her chest and softly scoffed as a small smile curved on her lips. “He also told me to listen to my heart and be strong. To stay calm and breathe before making any decision on what to do. I think I’ve failed him on many different occasions and if he were here, he would probably scold me even now,” she said and brought up a hand to cover her mouth and let out a small chuckle. “But even if he did, I wouldn’t have been upset or minded because I know his words were said with good intentions. They weren’t meant to be a punishment like I feel they are now with Sarada sensei.”
Nori let her hand fall from her mouth and she folded it back across her chest. “She’s more a giver of tough love in comparison to my sensei, but the only difference is is that for him, I would give anything. I wished he hadn’t had died that day, but I knew he died knowing he was saving lives, including our own. It makes me wonder what went through his head at that moment. I wonder what he knew he was leaving behind. I don’t think he really even thought of it. His body just moved. It went on instinct because he knew what he had to do and what it was going to cost him. But...despite it all, I think he knew that we would be okay as long as we stuck together. He left to us what he couldn’t finish and I fully intend to see it through no matter what because even to this very day, I respect him like no other. He’s someone that can never be replaced and I hope one day I can feel that way about Sarada sensei, too, but right now I don’t. Not because of the scoldings or the punishments she dishes out. I just feel like I haven’t reached that point of giving her all of my trust and respect like I once did with my old sensei. There’s a lot I have yet to understand about her and I hope I can one day just like I hope she can understand me, but that’s not going to happen until she feels like she wants to even try,” she said as she looked over at Fuma with a serious expression.
“And contrary to what she believes, I fully understand that Sigmund has done terrible things. Unforgivable things. Things that he should probably die for, but I’m not giving up on him and I know in my heart sensei wouldn’t want me to, either. I know my feelings seem like they may be compromised because of what once was our relationship, but Sigmund is my family. Nanami is my family. Shiroma is my family. There’s nothing they could do that I wouldn’t forgive them for. That I wish they would die for. I hate the pain and the suffering Sigmund has caused everyone, but if you and Sarada sensei both truly knew him like we did, you would understand why none of us are giving up on him. I know all Sarada sensei sees is a bloodthirsty shinobi who isn’t worth a shit and should just die. In fact, I’m sure that’s what she’s thinking. Even I don’t understand why he’s still alive, but there’s a reason why he is. I don’t know what, but I want to believe that he can be saved from this darkness. He will be saved. I know it. Call me a fool or think less of me as much as you want, but I fully intend to do whatever I have to to save him. Not from what he’s done, but from himself.”<Pink>
Nori made her way over to the door and stopped in front of it, slowly putting her hand on the handle and opening them. <Pink>“I won’t get in the way of what needs to be done because I know he needs to face the reality of it all. I never intended to free him. I want you to understand that. Nor did I intend to jeopardize or compromise anything. Now I know he’s here and at least for now, he is safe despite his conditions. Once we get to Konoha, I don’t know he’ll face, but, I, too am going to face that head on no matter what punishments he receives. I will be there whether anyone wants me to be or not,” was the last thing she said before she walked out and let the door close behind her.