I've been hanging around on this site for a long time and the older I get the more I regret the screename I picked when I was an acne ridden teenager who didn't know better. Is there any chance one of the powers that be might help me in updating that as I would rather not try the stupid route of creating an alternate account and getting stricken down by the Almighty Ban Hammer. ;)

Just contact the mods, they will do it.

The procedure is in the last paragraph of this page.
/help/content.cgi?t=faqs&page=multiple%20accounts