V_V
 member, 628 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Fri 13 Oct 2017
at 19:58
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
Here I go again, for the third time. I'm beat tired. I just can't sleep. Lay in bed, toss and turn, just can't stop thinking. I have nothing but time to sleep. I just can't.

I'm on medication that is supposed to knock me on my ass, but it only gives me slight relief to sleep most of the time. No doctor is willing to prescribe sleeping pills, but gods I wish they would, for times like now.

It's been four days, and I've slept 16 hours. I know med students and parents sleep less than I do. I also know I won't die of it, at least not nearly yet, but it's hard because I'm worthless, depressed and angry. I can barely write this, and I should be doing more constructive things with my time.

I don't dare log into my games, for fear I'll miss something, or get irritable and post angry and have fiasco. I got burned badly by a GM on here that I played under while sleep deprived. Not doing that again.
GreyGriffin
 member, 168 posts
 Portal Expat
 Game System Polyglot
Tue 17 Oct 2017
at 22:33
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
I told him that the way he wanted to do it would take like a million years.  I thought up a way to make it go way faster, but he told me that wouldn't work and would break everything.  I realized my mistake, acknowledged it, and told him he was right.

So then, I set up the whole backend and he goes to do his thing, and what does he do?  He tries it the way I thought up, that he told me wouldn't work.  And guess what?  It didn't work, and broke everything.

So now everything is broken.
DarkLightHitomi
 member, 1210 posts
Wed 18 Oct 2017
at 04:36
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was off-topic, at 05:23, Wed 18 Oct 2017.

MalaeDezeld
 member, 34 posts
Tue 14 Nov 2017
at 23:57
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
I'm a mess right now: my 8 years daughter wrote a letter where she described herself as undesirable, ugly and other bad stuffs that I don't remember.

I hope that the letter and her felling are only linked to the lice story and nothing more...
Starchaser
 member, 489 posts
Tue 21 Nov 2017
at 12:10
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies

This message was deleted by the user at 12:26, Tue 21 Nov 2017.

Starchaser
 member, 501 posts
 GMT+0
 Posts Monday-Friday
Mon 4 Dec 2017
at 05:28
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
I can't believe I lost sleep last night obsessing over somebody's twisted opinions.

Thak god for (sane) good friends here on RPOL. Wish I had people like that IRL.
horus
 member, 333 posts
Mon 4 Dec 2017
at 05:47
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies

This message was deleted by a moderator, as it was off-topic, at 09:32, Mon 04 Dec 2017.

facemaker329
 member, 6974 posts
 Gaming for over 30
 years, and counting!
Tue 5 Dec 2017
at 06:17
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
Don't ever let yourself get complacent behind the wheel.  I was on my way home from work tonight, thinking about the errand I needed to run instead of focusing on traffic around me...started a left turn into what I thought was an open lane...and saw the oncoming headlights just in time to realize that I was wrong, and there was no way I was going to avoid getting hit.

I'm fine...the other driver was a little banged up (surprising, as I was in a Honda CR-V and he was driving an Escalade)...considering I got the car for $2200, I'm pretty sure it's totalled...cost a lot more than that to fix what happened to it.

And just in time for the holiday season, too.  At least I still have my old car, and can afford the fixes on it to get it registered, so I'm not totally up a creek.
Shannara
 moderator, 3766 posts
 Keep calm, drink more
 COFFEE!!!!
Tue 5 Dec 2017
at 16:08
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
Dear Firefox,

I switched to you from Chrome because your extensions allowed me to do what I wanted to do in creating custom icons for my bookmark folders / bookmarks when Chrome decided that such a feature wasn't worth their time.

I found a lot of other extensions to like, and you became my favorite browser.  I hardly gave Chrome or IE a glance, save on the rare occasions that a site didn't grokk well with you.

I stayed with you, despite your tendency to issue an update every other month, then every other week, then about every other day that totally flapjacked up my extensions, because you wanted the people who already invested their time improving your streudel should have to jump through hoops to satisfy often senseless requirements.

Now I can no longer do that one thing that led me to you, thank you very much, and now you look and act pretty much like Microsoft Edge.

You can keep your intrusive updates, and all your 'improvements' that have done nothing but get rid of the real improvements other people make to your browser.

I'm going back to Chrome.  And if I get bored with Chrome, I'll go to Opera.  And if that doesn't work, I'll just use Edge, which should tell you how I feel about you, once-dear Firefox.  You are lower in my esteem than Edge.

I don't even want to think about how bad all those other browsers would have to mess things up before I would even consider using Firefox again.
V_V
 member, 651 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Wed 13 Dec 2017
at 06:09
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
I'm very, very antsy, jittery and feel a little nausea. I think it's medication, since I skipped my full dose the other day. I'm not sure though. I feel really tense and want to pull my hair out I'm so tense.

I called my doctor, but by the time she gets back tome I'll be fine, or in the hospital (the latter is unlikely though). I'm getting angry, and just because I don't feel good. I feel like I'm going a mile a minute and everything else is just meandering along slowly, and I'm getting impatient. *UGGGH*

Gawd I'm getting POed! For nothing but feeling bad...
C-h Freese
 member, 267 posts
 Survive - Love - Live
Fri 22 Dec 2017
at 23:04
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
AAAaaaaarrrrrrrG......
OKay.. don't point guns at my son's wife.
Yaztromo
 member, 134 posts
Fri 22 Dec 2017
at 23:42
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
It's the end of the year and I feel tired at work.
The last thing I need issomebody asking me to change my reports to add unnecessary information that no reader will understand.
Dottie_V
 member, 115 posts
 The fifth in a series of
 odd things you saw today.
Sat 23 Dec 2017
at 02:31
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
I'm a little annoyed with Micro Center right now. I took in a $1000 machine to get repaired (still under warranty) and they kept giving me the run around. Now I wouldn't mind that if the gentleman "helping" me wasn't such a condescending jackfruit. Yes, I know what a motherboard is. I know what a USB hub is. I am quite aware of the differences between an SSD and an HDD are. I'm not a complete ditz, good lord.

I don't know what it is about this season, but everyone wants to be rude. I'm sorry you have to deal with longer shifts, I'm sorry that you have to deal with strawberry customers, but whatever the last person did to you that annoyed you, that wasn't my fault. I can do without the patronizing attitude.

On a more positive note, Geeksquad coming in clutch when I need them.
V_V
 member, 657 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Sat 23 Dec 2017
at 19:09
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
Poopy POOP! No one is going to be here for Christmas (rightfully so) but it's the only year I will be alone, on Christmas, for a large portion of the day, just bored out of my mind, with no gifts and just cringing at listening to Christmas music.

As Chris Rock said once, boring is bad too, but better than freaky straws happening in your life. His bit was about relationships, and stress being good for them, but I'm just sad I'm going to be bored and Christmas is going to be like working for Scrooge a nightguard for his precious paperclips no one will steal anyway. Just long periods of thinking; damn, it's Christmas, but it sure doesn't feel like it.

Well, I might just come back, to this thread, to post another vent tomorrow. Bah Humbug... No, nope. Merry Christmas to everyone (that celebrates it) but dang this gonna be pitiful. :(

This message was last edited by the user at 19:10, Sat 23 Dec 2017.

spectre
 member, 871 posts
 Myriad paths fell
 away from that moment....
Sun 24 Dec 2017
at 05:20
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
Trying to be happy during the christmas season, but sonuva doughnut I need a cigarette and a little less screaming from the little ones...
facemaker329
 member, 6981 posts
 Gaming for over 30
 years, and counting!
Fri 5 Jan 2018
at 07:38
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
REALLY?!!

Okay...bit of backstory to this.  I work at a movie theater (discount theater, the type that used to be called a 'dollar theater', although admission prices just went up to $3 during the week and $4 on weekends, this past week).  I'm the guy who gets the hard-drives with the movies and downloads them into the servers, and sets everything else up so they can play on schedule.  Part of that process is downloading digital 'keys' for those movies that require them, which enable our equipment to play the movies within the designated time frame (typically anywhere from one week to three months, depending on the movie...one week is the norm).

Someone else books the movies, and does all the communication work with the distributors, which includes getting the hard drives shipped to us, getting the posters for display...and getting the keys, which she then forwards to me so I can unzip the files to install on our servers.

On any given week, I find out what we're going to be showing for the coming weekend and the week following on Monday (this week, it was Tuesday...holiday and all that...)  I will usually start getting keys emailed to me about the same time, although it's rare that I get ALL of them that early.  But, generally speaking, by Thursday, everything is ready to go and programmed and all they need to do each day is just turn on the equipment and it will take care of itself.

This week, our new incoming film came from a different distributor than we normally use...not a big problem for me, as long as the hard drive is here on time.  Well, got here tonight, got the hard drive started downloading, got the rest of the keys that had been emailed to me...and I was still missing keys for the new movie.  Text our booking agent to ask what's up...and she tells me that because it's a new distributor, they don't have the information to program keys to send us...and she needs the model and serial number of all of our projectors and servers to send to them (this is at, like, 10:30 at night, the night before we're supposed to start showing the new movie...all of our equipment is running, there are people watching shows, I can't turn on lights in the projection area, I have NO FREAKIN' IDEA where look for the information...

AND SHE'S HAD THREE DAYS TO TRACK DOWN THIS INFORMATION, or even just to find out that she needs it!  She didn't find out until today, apparently, although I have no idea what time...and if I hadn't pestered her about it, I have no idea when she would have come to get it.  As it is, I found a flashlight, fumbled around as best I could, found the labels on the outside of the projector units to get her THAT part of the information...then I had to rummage around inside the server racks WHILE THEY ARE RUNNING to find the model and serial numbers for the servers (first, I had to figure out which of the six components in the rack was actually the server!)

But I got her the info (she made it sound like it was all she needed, and then the keys would be immediately forthcoming)...and now, two hours later...STILL NO KEYS.

Which means I'll have to make a heavy shift to tomorrow's plans and come here when I should be at my other job, to take five minutes to download and install keys (seriously, it takes longer to boot up the servers...WAY longer...than it does to install the keys...by the time you factor that in, it will be closer to twenty minutes).  That's assuming, of course, that she gets the keys to me in any sort of timely fashion (two weeks ago, I was downloading the movie mere hours before it was supposed to show...)

And we don't have the poster for the movie yet, either (this is the second week the movie beat the poster here in the last month...)

I love the job.  Really, I do.  But it is supposed to be something I can do IN ONE NIGHT, and when I don't have everything by that night, it really screws up the rest of my schedule...like, my hours at my day job (which, luckily, are really flexible this time of year).  And, it's a family-run business, so while everyone is going to be annoyed hearing about it, odds are really good that nobody will do anything about it, because she's family (and because I bust my butt to make sure everything works out as smoothly as possible when garbage like this happens.)

Okay...I feel moderately better now.  Thanks for reading along.
jpetoh
 member, 365 posts
Fri 5 Jan 2018
at 15:31
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies

This message was deleted by the user at 15:31, Fri 05 Jan 2018.

V_V
 member, 674 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Tue 23 Jan 2018
at 02:54
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
I'm just having a crash. I'm really trying, but I'm not doing so well on taking care of myself. I had SUCH a good weekend, but I overdid myself, and while I don't regret it, I'm having a crash.

I tried to Rmail a GM, and said too much, wrote too much and now it's largely to waste,and I'm exhausted from it. I want to relax when I come to RPoL and I feel like it's hard work to connect...to anyone in games here. All I can do is try...I'm just so exhausted and want to chill. *sigh*
V_V
 member, 677 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Thu 25 Jan 2018
at 03:28
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
Yes, I'm queer. Yes, I like combat in my games. Sorry for offending you with the combination! >:'( I really wish I could find a fit for me. I keep trying but it's so difficult to get a comfortable fit.

Everything is fine...and then it goes downhill. It's like dating...I swear! So many GMs I try to connect with get on the offense, abrasive and condescending. It makes me so mad! When all I want to do is be friendly, they want to pick apart why I'm wrong. >:'(
Starchaser
 member, 527 posts
 GMT+0
 Posts Monday-Friday
Wed 31 Jan 2018
at 22:37
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
From now on Im marking my games 'sole ownership'. Nothing worse than coming back here and no longer feeling at all a part of games you actually created and put your heart into.
drobob
 member, 69 posts
 Mediocrity's Finest
Fri 2 Feb 2018
at 15:28
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
Found out the hospital my wife gets her PKU formula through didn't get the grant this year to be able to provide them. So now we have to pay out between $500 - $800 a month for this as it's needed or else bad health. Even worse, my insurance won't cover even a single packet of the formula regardless how much the doctors say otherwise.

So now, instead of trying for our second child this year, we might just be trying to keep her in health.

2018 is not playing nice. Can I ask for a different year?
facemaker329
 member, 6988 posts
 Gaming for over 30
 years, and counting!
Fri 2 Feb 2018
at 22:38
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
I had to go and open my big fat mouth...

I'd been doing remarkably well this winter, health-wise...a few occasional sniffles, but nothing I couldn't handle.  I mentioned that to a friend last weekend, felt a cold coming on all day Sunday, was laid out Monday and Tuesday, able to work half-days Wednesday and Thursday, was thinking my recover was coming along nicely last night when I went to bed...

Woke up so congested I could barely breathe, coughing harder than yesterday and so much gunk in my throat I could barely swallow.  I'm feeling better now...but I forgot to bring any of my cold meds to work with me, so who knows what state I'll be in by the time I go home...

BEING SICK SUCKS.
V_V
 member, 691 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Mon 12 Feb 2018
at 09:07
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
Dang it! (gonna make this short and sweet, this time). I went and spent two straight hours on RPoL ona non-RPoL night, when I had other things to do.Iposted here while I ate...and didn't eat...-_-.

So yeah, shame on V!

Be back tomorrow *grins* hopefully for not so long. It is an RPoL day, but I need to have that be partially today, to catch up. *shrugs* and *logs out*
V_V
 member, 695 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Wed 28 Feb 2018
at 03:54
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
Can't believe Section 8 housing assumes mental health isn't medical expenses. The ass supervisor even laughed when he mentioned this, like my mental health was a joke.

So I have to pay $750 on housing, in addition to my medical expenses, which is WHY I qualify for Section 8 housing. C'mon, people, give mental health the dignity it deserves. Gosh dang! You made me wait four months just to tell me. Really? really? really? REALLY? really? really. *Facepalm through all four dimensions of my face* Uggggghhhh. Soooooo. I guess I'll be going to a church after all. Hopefully they'll help us without needing me to be part of the congregation. *sigh* -_-.
V_V
 member, 699 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Mon 9 Apr 2018
at 22:52
Re: NOTHING but VENTS - Vent all you want without replies
I sometimes wish I could give up, but how? It's not like I'm not going to just sit and wallow in my tics, OCD and PTSD, because why the hell would I?! But my games fail because I hit these patches. These fruiting god darn mother hating patches, where my throat is run raw, so I get one infection, and then it spreads to another. I have these happen so often I'm not advised to KEEP taking antibiotics for the minor ones. But it's painful, and yeah, it makes me bitter. I have next to no human contact, for the bitterness, so I'd like to shield my worse side from the few RPoL players that still play under me....but then I think they think I flake. I sort of do, I mean I could GM, I'm just not going to do it out of pure commitment. I do it for fun too, but I FEEL so bad. All I want to do is escape, but I can't physically, I can't rip out the disorders, the incessesent ticing and the hounding obsessing, and insidious compulsive habits. They WAIT for me to be weak to be at their worst.

*sigh* It seems I'm the only one who's using this thread recently, so I'll stop for awhile and keep my thoughts more private. I just sometimes get disheartened by how basal my joys are, things people take for granted, that I have hard time with. I enjoy eating when I keep my food. I enjoy sleeping when I don't have haunting nightmares of the first 20 years of abuse. I enjoy talking, when I'm not pushing someone away with being honest, or worst yet, arguing.

I...enjoy gaming, on the few times I can string together a coherent post that take all other participants' actions into account.

Most of the time though...it's one fruiting thing, or an- mother hating -other that causes this languishing pain.