GM BLUE:
Okay, look at my new post and see what you think so far.
I believe it's a good start, however there are some problems. I'd probably include some pictures, remove the Sentient race header, and State the name of the World we have... which there is none, then Make Area Posts.
Post a Dismal Swamp picture, describe the Swamps, and then describe the features in it, while making Smaller sections of the Civilizations themselves. This would take a lot more work, than what you've done, however as the first-place winner, you are the better writer.
Aka, you need to make the disparate pieces, a cohesive world. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be long enough to express the important details so that the Setting itself will leave a good impression on the reader.
link to a message in another game
This is successful in it, and it's not overly long, but unfortunately, while Darke City's Setting is only one city, we need to express the myriad civilizations and areas on the Map as it were.