Re: Vents with allowed responses - 3
In reply to drew0500 (msg # 2269):
*ditto* I am on the opposite end of "perfect", being nearly useless as a GM. Often times the RTJs that are "perfect" are not good fits for my game. Those that are and get in, lose interest, they have high standard I can't meet as a GM. I prefer players that come somewhere inb the middle. They aren't using RL lingo in character, or describing a detection spell "lighting up like Christmas tree" but I also want my players to be people, flawed, in pursuit of fun, some bad grammar, but ultimately just good-natured, and forgiving; of me, of the other players, and of themselves. I have gamead professionally for a scant few years in my life. When I did, it was just that, a profession, and it was work and labor and a service for my clients not for me. I couldn't make minimum wage, for how seldom I did it throughout the year though, and demand was always low.
When I GM or play, I expect it to be a free to play, and so get what I put it in minus 20% to 50%. I find players or GMs that exceed double my capacity will outstrip my a participation, and the opposite is true too. If someone is operating on my very leisurely pace as half that pace, then they're going to get overtaken and overwhelmed.
That said...ALL that said. Yes, I get nervous when I RTJ as a player. I worry most about GM killing my character in a RTJ, or the seldom occasion a GM is antagonistic or mean. Getting accepted is always a deep sigh or relief but also "it's go time": kind of stress, like getting accepted to a part time job or a cast of play; I know by being accepted, I now am part of a greater system and I have to do my part. If I don't get accepted, I'm bummed, but am relieved that when new games come up that I RTJ, I'll have the time to commit to them. So yes, it's anxiety inducing, but I internalize both acceptance and denial with a certain level of anxiety for those reasons. My real fear is always that a GM will punch down. It's happened a few times, and even once made me leery.