member, 670 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Sat 13 Jan 2018
at 11:00
V's Recipes (and your's too!)
So this is just a the request for the recipe for my sandwich. I have other recipes I would be more than willing to share, like my quesadillas, steak sandwich, or nachos (which sadly I can't eat any more). Simple, little nothings, I put a lot of spirit into, like chili competitors do. They are glorified snacks and sandwiches.

Spoiler for disclaimer: (Highlight or hover over the text to view)

You are welcome (I mean OBVIOUSLY you are) to substitute any of this. I will list a few don'ts as well. It's meant to be flavorful, but cheap (not super cheap either though...be warned). You can make many, many, many more than you could buy for the same price at Subway. So don't expect the best sandwich you've ever had. It is made for my taste, as IRL my roommate and I are struggling with money, and I have Tourettes where I get sick easily. I usually spend WAY more on food budget, because if it tastes good I'm less likely to get sick. It's neurological, but physical (Tourettes). So I was just happy it's worked out as well as it has.

Lastly, it's difficult to get the onions the way they should be, so just practice if you like it.

I enjoy making food, it's a hobby of mine. Some people like to hunt. I like to cook and prepare food. It's my gift to my friends when I have birthday parties. They bring their gaming materials and maybe a cake/pie and I make dinner.

Spoiler for V's Spicy Horseradish Turkey Sandwich: (Highlight or hover over the text to view)

  • 2 tsp (appox) Miracle Whip (or Mayonaise) (quarter or pence sized "puddle")
  • 1 1/2 Tps of pureed Horseradish (less if you aren't wanting that WHOO! feeling) I can recommend a few brands in Rmail.
  • 3 slices of thin-sliced Mesquite Turkey. Hillshire or Boar's head both worked for me. Oscar Meyer and Hormel are awful with this, so unless you love that brand I suggest not using them. MY roommate like Oscar meyer and didn't like the mix.
  • 2 slices of bread. Here is where you get to have fun, or go cheap. I highly suggest finding a bakery in a grocery store you like, and just get sliced bread. If you make your own bread, a sourdough or savory cheese bread works well. The bread can make the sandwich. I cannot stress that enough. I have tried it with Wonderbread, for my Roomate, her words "it's okay" which could mean "good" or "eh" I have no idea. I thought the bread was conspicuously off for the sandwich.
  • 2 thick slices of Medium Cheddar Cheese.
  • About a 5 tsp very thin sliced red onion.(if measured [which I don't since I eyeball it] it's as a "heaping" tablespoon)  The signature* paper-thin red onion is my touch. See below.
  • Optional adds
    • If you think the sandwich is too weak, which it may be, finely grate about a teaspoon of fresh horseradish. For me it was offensively strong, enough t ruin the sandwich, but my friend Rak "Rock" loved it, and he enjoys very strong/spicy/savory/bitter/sour foods. He actually helped me get that optional taste test. To me, TBH it's WAY too much.
    • Cilantro, either with or instead of the horseradish. I prefer touch a leaf or two, so barely any, if at all. Again, Anne, my roommate enjoyed it. It's not bad, but I like it without.
    • 1/8 of tsp Paprika. I tried this and it wasn't bad, but I would cut down on the horseradish and let the onion and mayo/miracle whip carry the paprika.
    • Note: this is not very compatible with actually spicy flavors. I tried...
      • Red pepper
      • Bell pepper
      • Ground Black pepper
      • Salt
      • Cayenne pepper
    • Leaves of lettuce or other green are totally up for debate. Red cabbage was okay, but I got tired of it before I used it, and little went a long way. No one but me liked it that way, and I only did as change, but usually don't when I make the sandwich.
    • Spinach was slightly too bitter and ended up sort of giving a base to the acidity that makes it good. It was also too earthy.
    • Oak Leaf lettuce. Probably the best. I also have salads in general, and this romaine lettuce don't go to waste. So I pick out the oak leaf lettuce to put on my sandwich.

*The red onion is best when it's extremely thin, about as thin as a leaf of wilted lettuce. Essentially you cut off about a 1/3 of the onion, and use that  surface as a base, putting that surface against the cutting board. Then you cut about 2 cm off the side, and then position the knife on the edge, below the top lip of the onion, and sliced horiztonally at an angle, about 1/2 mm (which yes, is very difficult) and then curve the knife to chop (or if you have chef's knife, worth it's salt, slice) down so you have this shaving. Graters are the poor man's alternative, but it has different texture, and that make a difference on how it's enjoyed.

I have about one of these at a time, but if you like more, you can probably put away two pretty easily. My friend Anne often needs to two to feel full. She also weighs quite a bit more than I do, and I am said to "eat like a bird".

I would appreciate you not posting the recipe elsewhere on the web, or claiming it "publicly" as your own. I am eventually starting up a late-night catering business, for the local train dispatch, security, and late night gamers alike; when I have enough contacts and assets secured. But I always enjoy cooking and helping people prepare food. It's been an off and on again passion, everyone tells me "You should do" but never figured out how.

Think of it as an expensive snack, or alternative to eating out for a sandwich (or burger). The ingredients are what make it good (IMO). By all means though, if this inspires you to make your own version, own it! :D  After all, imitation and inspiration is the highest form of flattery.

Optionally, toast bread on light setting, for about 50 seconds, so showing no browning, but slightly coarse to0 the touch.

Take first slice of bread the bread, spread the miracle whip (or mayonaise) on the bread. Then spread the horseradish sauce Put the 1st slice if cheddar. Then the three pieces of turkey, then the second slice of cheese. Slice the onion. Place the onion in a semi-even layer on the cheddar. Add optional ingredients as desired.

Top with the second slice of bread. Enjoy! Slices of jicama dipped into a Mexican sour cream dip (a local brand so no idea the equivalent) is what I enjoy with it.

This message was last edited by the user at 11:30, Sat 13 Jan 2018.

Togashi Kenshin
 member, 48 posts
Mon 15 Jan 2018
at 12:33
V's Recipes (and your's too!)
Add rose syrup to taste into water. Ideally for a more natural syrup it should have a healthy ruby colour. Then add carnation milk or evaporated milk by the tablespoon and stir until the milk dissolves. Stop when the drink becomes opaque. Serve drink chilled.
 member, 3 posts
Thu 25 Jan 2018
at 10:48
V's Recipes (and your's too!)
For those that don't have V's +1 samurai knife, or iron chef precision, just use a potato peeler to get his "signature" paper thin onions. I'd make sure to discard the papery red flakes, unless you like paper taste onions too. ;p

V is a good cook though. I eat his food regularly. (c:
Isida KepTukari
 member, 186 posts
 Elegant! Arrogant! Smart!
Thu 25 Jan 2018
at 12:33
V's Recipes (and your's too!)
Another way to get good paper-thin onions is a mandolin (and use your hand-guard unless you want additional involuntary protein in the recipe).  You can get thick, thin, or ripple cuts of whatever thing you're cutting if it has adjustable blades.  Great for making homemade potato chips, thin cuts of tomato and onions for burgers, thin slices of carrots or apples, whatever your pleasure.


And for a recipe - my version of a Buffalo Chicken Dip!

2 12oz cans of canned chicken breast chunks, drained
3/4 cup of hot sauce (I like Frank's Red Hot)
2 8oz blocks of cream cheese, room temperature, cubed
1 cup of ranch dressing
4oz+ of blue cheese, broken up or crumbled (you can add more if you're a huge blue cheese fan)
2 cups of shredded sharp cheddar, divided

Put chicken and hot sauce in a deep pan or pot over medium heat.  Mix thoroughly and break up chicken chucks with back of spoon.  Add cream cheese and stir until melted and bubbling.  Add blue cheese and stir.  Add ranch dressing and stir thoroughly.  Turn off heat and at 1 cup of shredded cheddar.  Put dip in a slow cooker (preferably with a liner in it for easy clean-up).  Sprinkle remaining cup of cheddar cheese on top.  Place slow cooker on low for 2 hours.  Eat with tortilla chips or celery sticks.
 member, 680 posts
 You can call me V, just V
 Life; a journey made once
Thu 25 Jan 2018
at 14:39
V's Recipes (and your's too!)
LMAO Anne posted here and didn't tell me. She's never on! She left for work, so I hope I remember to catch her and tease her about sneaking ina post (since she hasn;t been online in...oh gosh  over a year I think). What a scamp! Posting that and not saying boo about it.

Yeah, I didn't mean anything by the onions. Frankly a potato peeler will work. It exposes the flesh a bit more vigorously and will trigger the onions natural chemical defense basically making it spicier and also make you tear up.

A mandolin is great too, but far more to clean off, IMO. A knife I can clean in like 30 seconds. Even a potato peeler is a moderate time sink. Each to their own though! It's why there can be too many cooks in the kitchen. It would be fine anyway someone makes it, but everyone's way can clash. :D

Honestly, I had been asked about my "recipe" for a sandwich. I was really proud of my modest little project. It's not really a recipe. It was just a little dither. I also like it. I mean humankind made cooking an art because you have so little to work with and nuance goes a long way.The only reason I was a bit obnoxious (sorry about that) is little points in history people have shared recipes, thinking nothing of it, and then boom! Capital gains! I have no problem giving the recipe, I just want to sell it without having to give someone else credit or something. OCD makes me paranoid sometimes though. :s

Anyway, I guess I'll share a recipe fitting of how the others here have taken it. Which I am humbled by.

So this a fancy dish when it comes to cost. I've had numerous people ask me for my "recipe" which I'm glad to give. It is, however, mostly the ingredients. The preparation is very easy. There's no wrong way to do it. Test different methods. I'm not a purist cook. I rarely measure. Sorry, culinary school. And this my magnum opus to date. It's sort of oxymoronic, a snack-meal.

DO be galled by the ingredients if you feel it frivolous. This is my holiday meal for Anne and other friends. Sometimes on Birthdays, sometimes when we have really bad year/month and just a surprise for them. Think of it as both a hobby and activity. I also made it once and everyone wanted more. TBH I don't like them that much myself. I mean they're good, but I feel for those who think; why would spend that much on this. Because that's what my friends like most that I make, and I aim to please.

So...surf or turf quesadillas

  • Tortillas (I use Mission)
  • Four Cheese Mexican Shredded Cheese (I use Sargentos)
  • Hand chopped Cilantro (Don't use dried, this is not the place to skimp)
  • Hand slices white onion (this can be prechopped at my local grocer, but I do it by hand because it's more therapeutic). I like it sliced, not chopped, but do what you like, it's for YOU, or YOUR friends/family.
  • Sliced tomatoes. Remove the skin unless you like it. Try not to get big hunks of white material, again, unless you like the texture.
  • The grand daddy of expense...
  • Crab meat. This is what makes it go from good to quite expensive. I use canned brand, I forget the name of, sometimes. Though our grocer has frozen snow crab on sale often, and I indulge in it with potatoes, asparagus and hollandaise sauce, before or after this point depending on if it's prompting the meal I'm describing, or a result of left over meat.
  • Ribeye side soft tissue works well if you're allergic or prefer red meat over seafood. You want that really pull apart meat though so it's soft. That is unless you prefer a firmer texture.

Now, I have done taste tastes. I have a rating scale I pester people to give me to rate my food. I shell out the cash, do the cooking, but I get to variate the exact mix and expect a rating. 1 is acceptable, but I won't let you eat it. 10 is acceptable, but I won't believe you. So my friends never give those two answers. Heck I never give myself those two ratings. They are neither the best nor worst I've had/made.

If you want an alternative, I like refried beans. It's still slightly pricey, but definitely grocer equivalent to an average sit down restaurant above American fast food and not closer my area has as fine dining. I have eaten at places that cost $80 and been less satisfied than my surf or turf quesadillas.

The only preparation I do is this. Chop the cilantro, slice the onion, dice the tomato and shell the crab. Put some butter in a pan on 3 or 4 (so lower than medium) then crisp or firm the tortillas. After the first part one is done, I lay it out and rebutter the pan put the next tortilla in. Then I spread the pico de gallo (the mix of cilantro, onion and tomato--in case you both, don't know and won't search it) and then put the cheese on. Then I put the meat on top.

If I'm using the refried beans, I spread that on first, then put on the cheese and pico de gallo last.

Top it with the next tortilla, and put another one in (If sharing. One is usually quite enough for each person, you can even split one, as I often do with one of friends that wants to try it but not eat a whole. It's a good appetizer to have a quarter.) Put the tortilla "sandwich" into the microwave, or if you're more adept than I, put it in the pan. I admit, I always get sparse cheese in the pan and it's just better to microwave it. One minute served me well, with all three wattages of microwaves. So it probably will you as well.

Sadly, that's my Magnum Opus. I can make many other dishes, some much more complex some even more stupid simple. The ingredients make the meal. I wish it wasn't true. Until you try the the higher end cheeses, fresh vegetables, and good cuts of meat, it won't mean much. I certainly don't have this often. Maybe four times in a year at most, sometimes as little as once a year.

If you don't like it, I'm sorry. It's a great waste. All i can say is it's not to your taste, or you need to vary quantity of this or that. It's really a meal that's mostly measured "to taste". *shrugs*

For dipping I like a local dairy's mexican sour cream, and another recipe of guacamole.

For sides I often get a feel for the rest of the group. I've had fruit. Hard cheeses. Veggies and salad dressing or hummus. Shrimp cocktail. Spanish rice. Black Beans. It really just varies.

Alternatively, an actual main dish of crab or steak, with the quarters being appetizers. Then a salad, or asparagus, and potatoes.

I think TBH a large part of what makes it so good, is that it's made with love. I mean that. I enjoy making it. It's not just to eat, but to feed my friends. It's something to talk about. It's my gift, a true gift, because I know my friends would never buy it themselves. It's a treat for them. Sadly, I think the recipe's magic is lost when you might make it yourself.

I thought I would at least share it.
 member, 1009 posts
Wed 15 Jun 2022
at 10:47
V's Recipes (and your's too!)
This is much more an update and much less a bump. I am currently homeless, but in charitable funded housing in a motel. I lived in a car in the first week of April, and this is just to give context.

So I have no stove, and no way of washing dishes in mass. I have microwave a and mini fridge. That's about it. The sink it tiny, even fopr bathroom standards, though THANKFULLY it's in vanity space by itself.

Anyway, I noticed a new bent to the recipe. A user specifically remembered this thread when I vented, and so if for no one else but him and I thought I'd add this.

So, I can't afford much less justify Kakauna cheese. I can, however, justify cheddar cheese. I will no longer knock people who have American "cheese" but that's respect for the people who eat it, and  their reasons, not for the...well what American "cheese" is. Anyway, I've been eating some fast food, sadly, it's cheap and doesn't require cooking. Sucks, but it checks two of the five checks, and sadly those are ones highly valued by monitoring parties to make sure we don't abuse charity.

Sooo! I simply cut down to pepperidge farm bread (it was given to us by the pantry) my preferred brand of turkey (which is hard to find around Olathe grocers!) and swiss (which IS easy to find) it's pricey for cold cut sandwiches, but it was inherently is a cheapo meal "sandwich". The bread and the cheese spread are the only real replacements. I swapped the horseraddish for a cheaper and purer puree rather than diluted spread. So I just replaced the kakauna for a slice of cheddar and melted it, and it alone, in the microwave. 1,000 watts in a relatively clean and dry  microwave (which some people don't do, and it's important!) it's 15 seconds. Based on my experience with my owned 1,100 watt microwave, I'd say 9 to 10 seconds on a microwave safe dry plate and about 1 cm above the in appliance plate would work well. The cheddar should not show bubbles until after the microwave stops a few seconds of the entropy continues to distribute heat. If it's bubbling in the microwave, it's going to burn. If you like cripsy chesse than that's probeably fine, for me it has to be silky but not stringy. So I thought about using a flat knife, but in fact using a plastic plate (I HATE doing it, but it's the sanitary option without a dishwasher or kitchen sink) it just slid off from the natural oil resulting. I just spread it with the flat knife onto the red onion (sweet red onion this time, since stress [being homeless] can cause some digestive sensitivity. ). It's not the same, but it's a good change. I like it about 3/4 of a * less than the original, and I'm very critical on my own cooking (this isn't really cooking, but I am super critical on any food preparation). Anyway, it has that comfort that melt does, while the con trast of chilled meat and swiss is nice. I think I'd toast the bread, or better yet toast bun to have the crisp but not crunch, and still have a nice fluffy softness in the bun. I give it ***.25 stars on the sandwich scale. ***** stars for reference is my ribeye cheese sandwich on the same scale. It's basically the million-plus bank note sportscar versus an economy car under 10k. You can't do much wrong with Ribeye steak, but I particularly enjoy a sandwich I dare not think too much about. Else I become even more disheartened. My point is you you get what you put in. The first of the P's, products (or rather ingredients or quality) is even beforte preparation, patience and perception. Certainly this will improve with practice, the final rounding out. I was just very thankful it was better than good, but closer to very good.

So I was very pleased to have the closest thing to home cooked I can have. I've been messing with some chicken dishes too, but really it's been a waste of what little money I tried it on. So I'll save that until I have a stove, and better yet oven. I have found brussel sprouts steamed are really good with chicken. That's been my go to, and proof of the Alton Brown level cooking with confidence. Microwaving a whole chicken is daring, so I have had to rely on grocer cooked whole chicken, which is about the level luxury I allow myself. So being homeless in other words, could be what it was in early April. I'm thanking these moments for years to come to have perspective. I'm a foodie. Meals and the company at them build more memories than a vacation. Though I'd love one of those!

Thank you for humoring this niche good stuff, food stuff, during bad stuff times. Cheers!
 member, 364 posts
 Join Date:
 Thu, 28 Nov, 2013
Wed 15 Jun 2022
at 15:59
Re: V's Recipes (and your's too!)
A user specifically remembered this thread when I vented, and so if for no one else but him and I thought I'd add this.

As the user who remembers this thread (and enjoys the sandwich recipe you shared), I appreciate the update! Always good to have an alternate version of the recipe for when I'm lazy and/or can't get one of the ingredients from the store.