True friends stab you in the front.

- Oscar Wilde

You dumb stubborn redneck hick.

-Sweet Home Alabama

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

-Anonymous

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

- Mark Twain

To succeed on ASWOT, you need to ignore real life.

-Yoss

'Tactfulizing; Extreme stupifying or sugarcoating for the idiots and the sensitives'
--My mother

"I didn't set a red line," said Obama

All my life I thought air was free……
until I bought a bag of chips.

- unkown

Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company - Mark Twain

"If you like your current health insurance, you can keep it, period."
-Barak Obama

Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!

-Ralphie in "Christmas Story"

"You'll shoot your eye out."

-same movie, this time the mother

True Story:  A self-conscious OBGYN used to whistle while he did exams to put himself and his patient at ease.  One patient started laughing hysterically and he asked if he had accidentally tickled her.  She said, "No, but you keep whistling the song to 'I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner.'"

Emperor Zombie:  "You let me down!  You went on and on, about how sweet the candy was, then told me not to put it in my mouth.  And then got mad at me when I did!"

Screw-on Head: "If by 'candy' you mean ancient, forbidden evil -- yes; I told you not to put it in your mouth!"

-- Adventures of the Amazing Screw-on Head

"Charlie! Charlie! Come with us to Candy mountain charlie!"
--Bloody annoying unicorns

"You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!" - Anonymous

(I've noticed something LuLu. You know alot about unicorns...)

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car." -Bob Monkhouse

"Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year."

- Victor Borge

"The trouble with stealing quotes off the Internet is that you never know if they are genuine."  --Abraham Lincoln

"I may not be better then you, but at least I can do a better job at pretending to be" - Unknown.

I saw this line is a review a couple of days ago. The reviewer did not identify himself by name.

"There was a twinge of fear and instant regret, as if I’d just stuck my penis in an exhaust pipe full of tigers"

Heard at the table tonight: "Oh, I apologize for being irradiated in your hotel."

In reply to ChupaBob (msg # 215):

So I did a Google search for that phrase and looked at the first result.  Holy Toledo, NSFW!  The third result, unfortunately, is this very page.

"My girlfriend turned in to the moon" - Sokka

"That's rough buddy" - Zuko

Had me rolling for days XD

"So I did a Google search for that phrase and looked at the first result.  Holy Toledo, NSFW!  The third result, unfortunately, is this very page."

l o l
i d o n o t f e e l p l e a s u r e
i m u s t h a v e a l l t h e p o s t s
o o f o o f o o f

yes this was hilarious quote that made me laugh
in conclusion i must have royalty of every thread tanner updates it hurts so much why