"Tomorrow's good."

Ryder leans on the rail of the Nancy. The sun is up. One thing about the end of the world, there's a lot less smog. The far side of Yaquina Bay is almost painfully clear. It's too far to make anything out without binoculars, but also tantalizingly close.

He watches Matt making the climb to the bridge. "Looks like you did a good job, Doctor Sean. Matt barely needs that crutch ... unless he's going for the sympathy vote seduction technique." He turns back to the bay. "See if he limps more when Alex is around."

"We taking the whole ship across?" Ryder doesn't imagine it will make much difference. The Nancy has been running constantly since he arrived. Anyone observing the bay would immediately notice it, especially now the world is so quiet. One exhaust plume is enough. Moving the ship would make it more visible, but it's hardly wearing a cloak of invisibility.

"Hi Max ... Andy."

"The leg is much better thanks," he says, accepting the cup of coffee. "I won't need the crutch much longer, maybe tomorrow. Anyway, I came up to see if you needed a break. I can take watch for a few hours, if you have something you need to do." He glances out towards the window, "I do enjoy the view from here, especially at sunset."

Soon enough, most of the crew drifts out of the galley area, working on gadgets or taking advantage of some down time.  Alex stays where she is, however, making some effort to refine her ideas and plans.  It's something of a losing battle, though, too dependent on what tools and equipment they're able to salvage.  As much as she prefers to have a plan, these days every plan, no matter how carefully put together, seems to fall apart within the first five minutes.  Better start taking lessons from Zoe about being spontaneous, she thinks, wryly.

Before she knows it, the planning has drifted away from her.  She isn't quite dwelling on dark thoughts, though those are never far away.  But they're familiar thoughts just the same: her family, the farm, wondering if she'll ever see either of them again.  The friends she's made here, how easily she might lose any of them.  How close she came to losing Matt... not so very long after she almost died herself.  Her pen drifts seamlessly from making notes about solar energy and waterwheels to drawing tiny pictures of the farm, the ship.  She wishes she was more of an artist, able to draw the whole little family they have here.

Then a mug of coffee slides slowly into her view, just above the paper, and she looks up in confusion to see Beth sitting down across from her.  "Drink," she says, somewhere between encouraging and ordering.

Alex's gaze drifts from the cup to her friend's face.  "Shouldn't you save that for someone who's more addicted to the stuff than I am?  You, for instance?"

"Oh, no, not me.  I'm trying to wean myself off caffeine before I'm forced to go cold turkey,  Can you imagine what it would be like if all of us had to quit at once, when the coffee and the soda finally run out?  No, I'm beating the rush."  Pausing, she grows more serious.  "And you looked like you might need it.  How are you?  I mean really, don't just say you're fine without thinking."

"But I am fine.  Really.  This time it was Matt who got hurt."  She can't quite bring herself to say almost got killed, but the thought is lingering unpleasantly.

"Right, this time.  I know we have to go out on these supply runs, there's no choice, but someone seems to get hurt or worse every single time you go out there.  And you always think everything that goes wrong is your fault.  So let's try this again: how are you?"

Now Alex has no ready reply, staring down at the page before her.  When would all the paper be gone, all the pens and pencils?  Would she find herself doodling with a quill pen on parchment someday?

Shaking off the thought — it’s only her subconscious trying to distract her from much more terrible subjects — she finally sighs and shrugs slowly.  "I'm... trying not to think that so much.  That it's my fault when things go wrong.  It doesn't help anyone... and it somehow manages to be both egotistical and self-deprecating at once," she adds, with a flash of dry humor.  "That's just weird.  And I'm trying to get used to not having everything planned.  Or not having anything planned, that's more like it.  And it's hard.  I can't argue that.  But… I'm dealing with it.  Really."

Beth searches her face for a moment, then nods.  "Okay.  I'll take that.  Now drink."  Standing up, she tilts her head, then smiles.  "And also?  The second Matt's healed up enough, and I mean the second, you totally have to bang him.  You think I'm kidding, but I'm not."  As Alex blushes and stares, completely speechless, Beth just laughs a little and turns to go.  "Absolutely not kidding," she adds.  With a wave over her shoulder, she heads out of the room, smiling and saying hello to Zoe as she sees the girl walking past.

As Zoe slides into the galley, she throws Beth a quick nod and a casual "Sup?" before her eyes land on Alex, sitting alone, and her stomach churns with nerves. She takes a shaky breath.

"Hey, Alex," Zoe murmurs softly, her voice carrying a tinge of vulnerability. "Can we, like, talk for a sec?" She settles close to Alex, her heart pounding in her chest.

"Okay, so, I've been like, obsessing over this love stuff lately, and... and it's hitting me hard that I've never even had a proper kiss, you know? Like, from someone I actually dig. It's messed up, dude. I'm, like, legit terrified that I'm gonna miss out on that kind of connection in this screwed-up world."

Her eyes plead for understanding as she gazes at Alex. "Have you ever... have you ever felt like you're just, like, totally missing out on something so freaking basic? Like everyone else has this secret manual, but you're totally clueless?"

Zoe's voice cracks with emotion, her insecurities bubbling to the surface. "And seeing you and Matt, it's... it's incredible, Alex. But it's also this, like, painful reminder of everything I've never had, everything I might never freaking get to experience."

She sighs heavily, the weight of her doubts bearing down on her. "Am I just, like, totally not with it, Alex? Do I just... suck at this love thing? Because sometimes it feels like I'm never gonna figure it out, like I'm always gonna be on the outside looking in."

The moment Zoe starts talking, Alex is abruptly, almost painfully reminded of herself when she'd had to go to her mother or her sister with a problem, one that seemed insurmountable to her own teenaged self.  It had been hard enough muddling through growing up as 'the smart kid' without the world ending on top of that... even if it had seemed like the world was ending, more than once.  "Sure, of course," she said, as Zoe asked if they could talk, then listened closely -- after a very brief, silent prayer that whatever the problem was, Alex would actually have some advice to offer.

When the girl finishes, Alex sighs, giving her a small, wry little smile.  Whether what she has to say will be any help is another question, but at least she understands exactly how Zoe's feeling, and that's a good place to start.  "I can only really speak for myself... but honestly?  I think everybody feels like they're missing out on something basic sometimes.  Especially about love.  It always seems like the sort of thing that everybody else instinctively knows how to handle, and you just suck at it.  I've felt like that.  A lot."

Gently, she puts a hand over Zoe's.  "I still feel like that.  I mean, don't get me wrong, it's definitely... well, incredible, like you said.  But it's scary, too, and -- and I wonder a lot about whether or not I'm doing something wrong somehow.  Like I'm trying to rush too much because everything's falling apart... or that I'm not rushing enough, because everything's falling apart.  And we never know when -- when we'll lose somebody."

Taking a deep breath, she squeezes Zoe's hand lightly.  "Even if everything was still normal, it's the sort of thing everybody worries about, even people a lot older than us.  I don't know if that makes this any easier, but... you're absolutely not alone, I promise.  And we're alive.  Against all the odds, we're still alive.  Sometimes it seems like there isn't any reason for that, that it's just blind luck.  But I don't know.  I think I'm starting to believe in fate.  Matt survived, and he found us again after we got out of the domes.  You and Rebecca survived, and Rusty.  Maybe that's all fate, too.

"So don't give up.  Maybe that sounds lame, I don't know... but keep hoping.  Keep surviving.  We're going to find a safe place someday soon, I believe that, at least a much safer place, and once we do... then all of us can start doing more than just survive.  We can find more people, people we can trust."  She ventures a real smile then, risking a joke.  "No online dating anymore, unfortunately, but maybe we can set up an old school matchmaking service, see what we can make happen.  How's that sound?"

Rebecca laughs at her sister’s words and flourishes an invisible cape. “And maybe some nice boots.” She’s happy to see Zoe coming out of her shell and being more social.
She smiles at Juan. "I love the name. I guess that makes me a little egotistical” she says happily to Juan. Hearing the device named after Zoe’s nickname for her delighted Rebecca. “This is the coolest thing I’ve seen since the world ended. Thank you so much, Juan.”
Rebecca steps a little closer to Juan. "I feel the same way. I was really worried when you got hit in that battle with the convoy. I’m so glad that you’re better now” she admits shyly.
She turns around, surprised as Zoe excuses herself. "Zoe? I thought we were going to watch a movie?" Just when she thought things were going well with her younger sister.
After Zoe left, Rebecca remarks to Juan “I guess she’ll come back when she’s ready. You have any other neat tech gadgets to show?”

Zoe's eyes are glued to Alex's face, soaking in every word like a sponge. She feels like Alex just cracked open her soul and let all her worries spill out into the open. It's scary as heck, but also kind of amazing to know she's not the only one feeling lost in this mess of emotions.

"Whoa, Alex," Zoe breathes out, her voice barely above a whisper. "You totally get it. It's like you're inside my head, you know?" She shifts closer, their knees almost touching, and she feels this weird warmth spreading through her chest.

"I've been drowning in this sea of uncertainty, feeling like I'm the only one struggling to stay afloat." Zoe admits, her voice shaky but honest.

Her hand twitches under Alex's touch, like she's craving that connection, that reassurance that she's not alone in this messed-up world. "But hearing you talk about hope, about believing in something better... it's like this tiny glimmer of light in the darkness." She swallows hard, blinking back tears.

"And setting up a matchmaking service? That's, like, next-level genius," Zoe chuckles softly, a hint of amusement breaking through her sadness. "Count me in, Alex. We're gonna find that safe place, and when we do, we'll make it the raddest, most kick-ass sanctuary ever."

With a shaky breath, Zoe reaches out and squeezes Alex's hand, feeling a surge of gratitude for her understanding and support. "Thanks for being real with me, Alex. It means more than you know." She offers a small, watery smile.

"Catch you later, alright?" And she’s off.

Ryder stands in silence with Sean for a while, enjoying the gentle rocking of the boat. The Nancy is almost big enough you don't even notice, but it's there all the same. Gulls wing over the bay, occasionally swooping down to pick a fish from the water, or feast on a trapped walker.

When the outbreak first happened, he imagined the walkers would one day rot away to nothing. End as bundles of desiccated bone scattered across the States like so many witch totems. But that's changed in the time since. He believes now that the same source that gives them their unnatural life gifts them also with unnatural longevity. Their flesh decays and rots and stinks, but it never reaches the endpoint of most rotting things. Instead, like them, it remains caught in a peculiar half-life. Not vital or alive, but nor yet macerated in its own putrescence, or sloughed off to fall in foul heaps across the land. Just there. Rotting for all eternity.

"So, tomorrow's mission, Romeo. I'm coming, obviously, but what are we about? Tell me how you see it going down."

He points at a small motorboat rocking at anchor next to the jetty. "We could take that, rather than risk the Nancy getting overwhelmed if the Customs place is all kinds of bad. Or one like it. Nobody else is using them."

He leans his elbows on the gunwale, chewing his cheek as he stares at the treeline behind which he knows the station lies. "It's about half a mile across there, I reckon. Even we shouldn't be able to get lost. The question is, who is coming, and who is staying to protect the Nancy? Or are you set on taking this beautiful tub on tour?"

Ryder leans slightly over. He isn't sure what the depth needed by the Nancy is. He guesses Captain Max would know. Could it even come in to shore near the customs place, or would it run aground? That would be a sad end to the whole affair, the Nancy holed and sinking in ten feet of water. He would definitely miss the hot showers and comfortable, safe cabins.

"Is there even a place to moor up over there?" He shrugs. "Look, my advice isn't worth shit, but if it was me, I would stick to volunteers and take a small boat. If it looks good, we can always come back and get the Nancy after. If it's bad, I wouldn't want to risk the whole ship. I'm not a planner mind, I prefer the whole rush in and shoot anything that looks unfriendly, so I'll back any play you want to make, Captain."

"Matt was lucky his hipbone wasn't shattered," I reply back with a glance over to the man benefitting from my medical knowledge and training. I am, of course, proud of the work that was performed by myself and the small medical team on Matt. "Things worked in our favor, thankfully and yes, I sure hope those two are expressing themselves to one another."

And at that moment, the thought of pregnancies crosses my mind. My God, please, no. No, no, no. Let's just hope these straight folks are taking the proper methods not to become pregnant.

"Anyway, yes, I think keeping the Nancy here and using another boat to across the harbor is our best and safest option. We don't have a reason to risk everyone and everything." As I stand next to Ryder against the rail, I lean over to rest my head on his shoulder and release a sigh of frustration. I never signed up to make important decisions. The fact that this whole operation landed in my lap is almost laughable. "So, we take a small group of us and cross the harbor to access the station. It'll need to be a quick trip, I think. We scope the area and get an assessment on the fuel reserves there- if any- then look for other useful equipment. I don't know what Alex and her team will need, so we'll need to at least take her. I'd definitely want Rebecca going with us, possibly Zoe, but she's a liability. And despite Matt's quick recovery, he'd need to stay on the boat. It wouldn't take much to cause further injury and set-back any progress he's made, you know?""

"What do you think? I can ask Alex and Rebecca, then Zoe and Matt, too. They might want to venture off for their own mission while we're going on ours. Guess that means I'll need to ask Max if the harbor is deep enough for the Nancy, but I suspect so. I am also going to guess that station has docking capabilities with larger and smaller vessels. It is a customs station, after all."

"I think your choices are good. Zoe's cool. She's a wild card, for sure, but she's gutsy as hell. Rebecca won't stay if Zoe's coming, and vice versa, so you have the pair. I wouldn't want to go without Rebecca anyway. She's too good not have at your back.

"Matt and Alex, too. Alex needs to figure out whether the customs place has anything she wants; hate to miss something important. Also, of all the people on this tub, Alex is the sharpest—yourself excepted, Romeo—so I figure Alex will need to find the boat we use. I'd probably choose one with a hole in it, sink halfway over. Alex could find diamonds in shit. And you can be sure the other half of Mattlex isn't staying if Alex is there."

Ryder glances back at the wheelhouse. "Good luck getting him to stay behind on the boat if Alex is onshore, no matter what his hip is like. Besides, he's the steadiest hand we've got, and really good with that bow."

"Juan will want to come, too, if I can read anything in the way he's looking at Rebecca these days. But we're in danger of stripping our defensive line too thin, and we for sure can't risk losing his expertise. Not saying I'd turn him down, but I'd say for scouting we have enough with those four and us. We're not looking for trouble."

Ryder goes silent a moment, thinking. "You know, there's no such thing as a simple outing. Not anymore. When I was knocking over cash trucks back in the 313, I could never predict how it would go. Some gurnack gets it into his head to be a hero, starts popping caps, anything can happen. Maybe not everyone will get back. Same here. It's not your fault if it all goes to shit. If someone doesn't come back, it's not on you, Captain Sean. All you can do is your best. Rest is in God's hands, you know?"

In reply to Matt Carter (msg # 109):

"I will take you up on that, just as soon as professor Andy is done with his electronics communications class." He 'toasts' Andy with his coffee. "Next time those assholes try to jam our walkies, I want to know how, why, when, where and be able to stop it." He growls, glaring out into the city.

In reply to Captain Max (msg # 118):

Andy nods at Max, checking over the internal workings of the communications array panel. "Definitely. And I have a theory on the how. They are using some sort of portable broadcast device to cause the jamming. Its almost like a gun that shoots radio static over a wide area. My guess is it has to be up high in order to do so. I just wonder if they somehow keep their own communications free of the static."

Juan blushed. "It...a fitting name. You are the first to use it, after all!" He grinned. When she got closer, and spoke of her concerns for him, Juan's blush deepened. "It was...nothing. Just some bruises is all. Not like the risks you take." He stares into her eyes, and then seems like he is at a loss for words. He also gets a little closer to her, mostly without realizing it.

Then she points out her sister is gone, and he blinks and looks around. He seems to have been so distracted he forget Zoe left. However, when Rebecca asks for another gadget, he smiles.

"Well, I must confesar that I did overhear your sister and you talking about your love for music. You must tell me what you like, so I can keep a lookout from the musical dvds you picked up earlier! I am a big fan of musical theater myself, and when I was on the road I made something to cheer me up."

He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out what looks like a clockwork music box. He opens it and the music from the show 'Man of La Mancha' starts to play. There is even a little mounted knight shown that is charging at a tiny windmill.
This message was last edited by the player at 17:48, Fri 12 Apr.

Rebecca smiles. “It is a nice name. I guess I have a legacy now.”
“Well, I’m a soldier. It’s my duty to take risks” she responds. “You don’t have to risk your life to help but you do anyways” Rebecca says admiringly. She shifts shyly; her heart was beginning to beat a bit faster when Juan was this close.
“Oh, it’s pretty!” she says happily about the music box. “I took some ballet lessons when I was young but I didn’t stick with it. The cost was an issue for my mother.“ She sings a little along with the music box for a moment. “It reminds me, there’s something I have to do. We’ve been having a lot of bad luck lately, I have to turn that around.”

The rest is in God's hands. Sure it is, I think to myself.

"Would you mind talking to Alex and Matt, and get a pulse if they want to join us? No pressure if they can't, of course. Completely understandable if Matt isn't up to it. Oh, and check with Juan if he has a list of material needed, or if he wants to come on the mission. I'm fine with either."

Giving some responsibility to Ryder will benefit our group and it will help him focus on that complicated web of his relationships between Lauren and Adria. Straight people are so funny with these types of things.

After speaking with Ryder, I head over to the bridge of the ship and pause before speaking, allowing Andy and Max to finish their conversation. Andy looks over to me with a bashful grin and I reciprocate with affection. My eye shift over to Max as my tall frame leans in the doorway. "Max, I have a plan for the scouting mission out to the Custom's station. We're going to acquire a smaller boat and survey the area. We'll look for equipment to help build those solar panels, as well as the station's fuel reserves. Do you know if the Nancy can make it down that far into the harbor? If not, we'll need to bring the fuel back here via barrels on trucks or some other method.

"What are your thoughts?"
This message was last edited by the player at 12:07, Mon 15 Apr.

Ryder offers Sean a small salute. "Sure thing, Captain Sean."

He waits as Sean heads off to the bridge, watching the water lapping gently against the hull. It may stink, but the dead world is certainly quiet. Eventually, he turns and goes in search of Alex.

He passes Zoe on her way out of the galley. "Hey, Trouble. Is Alex inside?"

Almost before he has an answer, Zoe and he pass and he finds himself in the galley. He spots Alex behind her notes and drawings, although she looks distracted.

"Hey, Alex. Mind if I join you?" Without waiting for an answer, he slides a chair out and drops into it. "You look busy, so I'll get to the point. Captain Sean wants to run a scouting mission to the customs place tomorrow—for fuel mostly, but who knows what else they have there? Aside from walkers. He wonders if you want in."

"I can think of lots of reasons you might want to say yes, a few you might want to say no. What's your feeling?"

In reply to Rebecca Saroyan (msg # 121):

Juan just looks at her as she sings the song from the musical, seeming at a loss for words while he smiles. "You have a wonderful voice..." He says, staring at her. Then he seems to gather himself when she says she has to go. "Of course, of course. Ummm...maybe I could see you later? For...ah...ah...fitting! Yes, I have the place I want to search for clothes. But, ah, I need to know precise sizes and fits-not to mention you need to tell me what you are looking for!" That last part sounds like he was thinking of a reason very quickly.

"We got enough fuel to move the Nancy, as long its a short trip. The problem is we have not scouted the harbor, or how many dead are in that area. It won't be a risk for anyone on the boat-just the scouting team." Max said with a sigh.
This message was last edited by the GM at 14:59, Mon 15 Apr.

"If the area is swarming with those Ghouls, that'll be enough problem to deal with entirely. More importantly, do you think the harbor is deep enough for the Nancy to traverse? We don't want to become stuck along the banks of the harbor."

In reply to Sean Anderton (msg # 126):

"The Nancy has the latest in sonar. We can tell if there is any object too close to the hull. Worse comes to worse you take a dingy from the boat to the harbor dock." Max shrugged, and took a sip of coffee.
This message was last edited by the GM at 15:01, Mon 15 Apr.

"It's settled, then. Let's move into the harbor and use one of the dinghy's alongside the Nancy. If the area is relatively clear, Ryder, Rebecca and Zoe will come with me to investigate the fuel situation while Alex, Juan, and, hopefully, Matt search for anything useful for the solar panel project. Can you bring the Nancy to the station early tomorrow morning?"

In reply to Sean Anderton (msg # 128):

He nods. "Keep this up and I may double your salary!" He smirked. He apparently knew where all the honey packets where stored away. Most likely to hide them from Timmy.

"Sure, you're welcome, Zoe," Alex says, laughing a little, to the blonde girl's retreating back.  She supposed she'd been like that, too, back in the day -- one minute despairing, the next bright and optimistic, moods transforming without warning.  Some things never change.

No sooner has she started to turn back to her papers, though, than Ryder appears and unceremoniously drops into a chair, launching into explaining the reason he's sought her out before she can say a word.  "The customs place... yeah, there's no way to be sure what they might have there.  Any number of cargo ships could have been stuck there when things got bad, and those might not have been looted.  Most people wouldn't think of hunting through a ship when there are stores all around."

But then there's still the question of Matt and his injury.  Sean's worried about setbacks, she knows, and while in theory this mission should be somewhat safer than most -- it's certainly possible to set booby traps for ships, but it isn't likely that anyone has bothered -- she's only just been pondering how difficult it is to plan for everything that might happen.  "I'd like to go along," she says, slowly.  "I'm still a little worried about Matt, though.  Leaving him behind doesn't seem like the best idea, and he could be really helpful with the tech stuff... but I'm not sure he'll be up for this quite so soon, and I don’t want to push him.  Have you talked to him?"

Rebecca blushes. "You're too kind, I do love to sing." She nods as he asks if he could see her later. "Well, maybe we could-Oh, a fitting! Yes, that makes sense. I'll give you a list of what I'm looking for."

Rebecca stays up late after her movie night with Zoe, trying to not wake her sister as Rebecca quickly dresses in one of her uniforms. She stealthily made her way up to the deck in the nighttime quiet. She wants to go where she won't disturb anyone. One she gets there, she snaps her arms into a high-v position. "Let's go Nancy Foster!" she says, then begins to dance through as much of her favorite routine as she could by herself. That would turn their luck around. The Tigers had never lost when she danced it. She finishes with a back handspring. Now it was just a matter of getting back to her cabin and changing from her cheerleader uniform to go to bed.

While Max has set up a night watch, most of the crew goes back to their cabins to rest. Tomorrow will be a new day, and even more risk will be needed.

Unseen from the Nancy Foster, several figures on rooftops watch via a rifle scope what the boat is doing...