DISCLAIMER: Jamie Torres is an asshat; his writer endeavors not to be. This character is meant to create conflict, generate story, etc and so forth. I'm open to working with other writers, or simply leaving their characters alone. All that needs doing is to say so.

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Name: Jamie Torres

Play-By: Pablo Schreiber

Age: 37

Occupation: Former striker for Chelsea FC, then Atlanta United FC; former women’s soccer coach at UNC; currently retired.

Birth Place: Dublin, Ireland

Sexuality: Straight

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Physical Description: 6’5”, 219 pounds. Still fit, despite the knee injuries that took him out of English Premiere and MLS. Red hair and beard, brown eyes.

Distinguishing Marks: Trademark ruddy mohawk. Hint of an Irish accent.

Personality: Caustic and irreverent, a little jaded. He lives to entertain himself, and he's as mean as he is ridiculous. Jamie would say he’s funny, but also admits his sense of humor leaves a lot to be desired.

Background: Born in Ireland to a Spanish father and an Irish mother, Jamie naturally grew up playing soccer. As a pre-teen, he was shipped off to live with relatives in the US. Though his aunties couldn’t afford league play, Jamie was a natural athlete and a beast on the field; as a result, there were plenty of good-natured coaches willing to pay his club fees in order to put him on their roster.

Eventually, he attended Duke University on a full soccer scholarship. He was quickly drafted into the English Premiere League, playing at first for West Ham United, then Aston Villa, and finally, at the height of his career, at Chelsea FC. As he got older and slower, he moved to Major League Soccer and finished out his career with the Atlanta FC, where he blew out both knees.

Jamie is known for his outspokenness, pushing past his limits and for his temper. He works hard for what he has (and doesn’t have), but despite his scrapper roots, he learned early on that grinding on the field made up for a plethora of bad behavior off the field. That attitude lasted through his life...until the day when winning wasn’t enough.

Likes: Copious amounts of whiskey. Underwear models. Boxing. Gucci shoes. Trashy novels. The beach.

Dislikes: Cats. Optimism. When someone takes food from his plate without asking. Sushi. Feather pillows.

Strengths: Yes.

Weaknesses: Basic human kindness. Honesty.

Fears: Dying in his sleep. Fainting goats.

Fun Facts: His last relationship went public after evolving into an open thruple with two of his former UNC players. The relationship took a lot of criticism, not just because of the dubious morality of dating former players, but because polyamory in the deep South had yet to find its place in the sun. Though the relationship was technically on the up and up, UNC saw it as a breach of the morality clause in his contract, and Jamie was fired. His thruple soon fell apart, mainly due to seething resentment and Jack Daniels. After two years of living life as a mess, he may or may not be on Coupled in an attempt to rehabilitate his image and find work again, preferably as a commentator. If he can keep himself believing that any of this is worth it.

The Perfect Person Person for You: A hat trick (hot, sweet, dumb).